In Urdu Janaan means “Beloved.”
“Love, or devotion, is a quality which softens the heart. When the heart is fully softened and there is no corner left in hatred or malice of any kind, then the heart is pure. In this purity, the heart is soft and has the capacity for maximum expansion.
The increased capacity of the heart for unbounded emotion succeeds in handling the waves of love which rise high in deep devotion to God.” – Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
The ultimate Beloved – “God” becomes all that one yearns for and the boundaries of mortality, ego, mind, emotions all melt away till eventually there is no matter, no thought just the deep reverberating silence of eternal bliss that rolls like the endless waves of the ocean, thrilling in every morphing transformation that dissolves in and out of the Self.
It is reborn again and again anew, filled with the life force “prana” “jivita” that emanates from the very heart of the Divine as the ultimate gift of Divine Grace itself.
From as far back as I can remember I sang and heard the music of the heartbeat of God.
Sometimes it was so faint that it barely registered and at other times it was deafening and all encompassing. At all times it was the constant that ebbed and flowed regardless of my limited perception or awareness. A “Smriti” – memory – spontaneous right action waiting to be born in any moment, as a remembering of the seeds of greatness that lie within our every breath, if we are awake enough to experience its purity and sheer perfection.
I longed for God, I looked for God everywhere, yet I was lost in the shadow of what I thought was reality but was in fact the thin wispy veil of illusion and delusion that trailed around like clouds in the sky, evaporating into nothingness leaving a vacuum, an empty space that no matter what, could not be filled by anyone or anything.
Yet I continued to sing. As years went by, there was no trace left of what it was for, there was no memory left – just the singing
“Sing your song of love to the world, even if you think no one will hear you.
God will hear you.”
And God did indeed hear me….
He brought me you…Guruji
From the moment I met you and when I sat in front of you for my first blessing and looked deep into your eyes and saw all the stars in the Universe it was as if I woke up. I finally found you – what I had been searching for, you existed, you exist and the life came back to my song and the music came back to my life.
You reconnected me back to God.
You are my Janaan, Guruji.
You opened my heart so that I could melt back into the Divine and all I experience is the heartbeat of God. From the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes I live and breathe in devotion and communion to the Creator.
Next to God, you are my first thought and my last. You are the grace that brings light to my life and I love you most of all.
Happy Birthday my Janaan
Happy Birthday Beloved Guruji
All my love always
(Poem written by Dezi Koster for Guruji’s Birthday 2018)